Thoughts

एक वक़्त था जब तुमपे गुस्सा ही सब कुछ था, एक वक़्त था जब उस गुस्से से आगे कुछ नहीं था| पर एक वक़्त ऐसा आया जब उस तकलीफ से आगे दिखाई दिया अपना असली दर्पण  वह दर्पण जो रह गया था कुछ पीछे पर अभी भी था अपना सा| जब हुए उससे वाकिफ तब पता चला की माफ़ी से ही चलेगी ज़िन्दगी आगे, आज आया ज़ेहन में की माफ़ करदे तुमको और बढ़ चलें अपनी राह में आगे| The span of the last two-three years, I now don't even remember when it was the last, had been a deadlock. The mind resisted any change! The only thing that mattered was anger, self directed or towards you I can't put a finger on it.  Struggling through the routine, the chores I had to perform, halfheartedly and with constant fight inside... The mask was so tough that no one knew what had been going behind it. I had stopped discussing things that I knew will come to the same conclusion. The thoughts being 'what were you thinking?' 'what will you be thinking?' 'was it affecting you?' 'had you been having any

There are butterflies in my stomach,        Goosebumps, Heart rate has accelerated..  Seeing you for the first time or as a matter of fact every-time we met brought these feelings inside. The first time was a special one, I still remember the conversation we had, the place we sat and what we were wearing! First time is the most sensational experience one has or one experiences. Be it meeting someone for the first time or going for a job interview or talking to someone over phone or chat. We all try to get a glimpse into the other's psyche, what is that make this person says this? or what is that makes this person him/ her? My first meetings or exchanges have always led to take things extremely slow. I rather felt the tinge of khichdi of feelings every- damn-time. When I used to read fairy-tales or any romantic novels such first time meetings have been so elaborately expressed that I used to think that this happens in real life too. But when I stepped into the real life

The sky above me is blue.. The sun is shining bright.. The grass is lush green.. The flowers are blooming.. Everything seems so fresh.. So naive.. Yet the mind is blank.. चलती रहती है ज़िन्दगी बस रुकते हैं तोह पल और थम जाता वक़्त| For a person whose entire life has been within the protective realm of another person, if left stranded alone without that crucial support will find his entire life crumbling down. जब ज़िन्दगी के रस्ते लगने लगे लम्बे और साथ ना हो कोई सहारा तब लगता है सब दुश्वार और रह जाता है तोह बस अंधियार Dependency kills the independent self.. The confidence of being alone is forgotten.. One becomes a lame follower without thinking about the details of his own decision.. You're consumed by the dark blank space within you.. There are days when I don't feel that there is any energy within me. The intrinsic motivation is exhausted. I'm consumed by myself, feeling stress. I feel the forces pinning against me. जब दिल कहता है काम ज़रूरी है और दिमाग कहत

While reading the newspaper today I came across this article via Paulo Cohelo which said, " No one who really loves you would expect you to make any kind of promises . If you want to understand love , learn to exercise freedom " We come across people, couples (married - unmarried) and individuals who are in a relationship and making promises everyday. Some of us even break those promises the very day and some of us live the promises we made.. Have we for once thought about the space and freedom we give to one another??? Have we for once thought about the reason for which are promising actually??! Its a food for your thought.. But I think most of us do not give any heed to such reason's.. It also mentioned that we promise because we are afraid to lose the person.. We somewhere are hiding the guilt of saying things that might cause the problem. Guilt of saying the Truth. When we love someone, we rather should tame the fea

The doomed Saturday! The day 25th April, 2015 will be written in history because of the earth shattering tremors beneath The Himalayas that shook us all.. Nepal is crumbling and we hear the news of survivors and death toll everyday. The news updates, twitter updates, facebook updates and whatsapp updates are full of images, videos and description of the event.. The extent to which the updates poured in was shocking. There were people who started circulating jokes and memes on the same. My only question to such people is 'Have you lost the contact with humanity?' Have we become so insane and inhumane to devastation and pain, that we have started making fun of other's trouble? The newspapers are filled with the helping hand India is providing but I can genuinely relate to a few. There are and were people who genuinely prayed and have been putting their efforts to help the victims. Nepal is a place where people have shown unity, harmony and courage to fight this disas

The four walls of my room are the one's that protect me from the outside world.. They do not let anyone breach the cover and pass through the safety net.. Yet there are particles which pass and affect my peace.. The confines of my room are the places I know even with my eyes closed.. There are things that are dear.. There are things that I require daily.. And there are corners that for the times we fear.. The physical walls are just a cover because there are walls in my mind that even deeper. The depth only few can breach and clear. The treading waters cleared by few. People who were with me in solitude, when I shed a tear or two, when I was excited and in great joy. The face I see in the mirror has changed with time. The person I once was has evolved with age. The age is a number that is increasing everyday. I'm recalling the time's when I wanted to confine myself as I didn't wish to move a step ahead. The person I used to be is the one I can never be. I have bu

Story of my life Searching for the right But it keeps avoiding me Sorrow in my soul 'Cause it seems that wrong Really loves my company    -  Rihanna - Unfaithful Lyrics These are the lyrics that come to my mind when I think about My Very Own Incomplete Story.. There are many stories that were left incomplete some I have purposely left incomplete, some were left incomplete by default and a few which I'm yet to complete...  Stories that haunt my past are filled with the feelings that I have shut out. The people who have purposely or rather by default have left a lovely dent on my psyche. The one's with whom I have spent moments which were precious yet had words that were left unsaid, promises that were broken, trust that couldn't be maintained and loyalties that were thrown in the dustbin.  There were conversations that had meaning, conversations which stumped me and conversations that closed a chapter in my life. But there were conversations whi