Thoughts

Lies get complicated, usually if you tell a lie, you have to tell another lie. And each lie turns into another lie and another lie, and it makes things complicated. Until, eventually, you're left with this big mess of lies.. that you can't find your way out of. When I was pursuing my graduation, I vividly remember my social psychology classes and particularly this class of non-verbal communication/ cues. I remember our teacher describing about the reactions in our body when we express different emotions; how we can distinguish between genuineness and lying etc. A lot of studies have been done on lying and if you 'Google - how to detect lying' you'll see a series of results that'll will provide you with details. But today I'm not going to write about my learning in social psychology class, rather I wanted to write about how deception actually makes you a different person. A lie is told to hide the truth that you know will devastate the lives of people

Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.                                               - the fault in our stars Marriage is one such infinity that is second longest phase of our lives post childhood. Our parents bring us into this world and nurture us to achieve our goals. Then we select our careers and finally land a job. There comes a stage when we get to choose someone other than our parents with whom we would want to spend our lives. The question being, 'Who is the right one?' When most of us start to think on these lines we have two options in mind: either marry someone you love or marry someone with whom you eventually might fall in love (attachment). While the choice seems to be interesting yet it is daunting. We the people who have done things on our own terms are now tongue tied as to which option to choose. Yet if someone were to ask, 'How do we know he/she is THE ONE for us?' We have already seen many proposals and profiles but which o

A circle has no boundary. The ends are closed and properly tied. The place where we start the journey, we end our journey there itself. Similar to a circle is time. The passage of time is unexpected. Anything may arise from anywhere, making its presence felt. Its limitlessness is its limit . The seamless boundary of time doesn't let you escape its clutches. It holds on to you sparingly. It reminds you of your old self in its own funny way. Whereas the other times its a trip down the memory lane, frequenting our past. Whenever you pass by a place you frequented previously or happen to come across the person with whom you had any association they have affect you deeply. They are the shadows of time who have come back again but now they don't hold much importance in your life. I remember standing in the same square and looking through my own shadows which now seemed meaningless! The memoirs of time are thick and hard bound. We can't undo what's been done

Its been awhile since I'm not my best.. I feel like I'm at test.. Things inside are not at rest.. Yes, it seems like a rhyme but it's something that is constantly going on.. The times when I try sharing it, venting it out.. I feel like I'll be judged.. The answers are all solution focused.. What is required is patience with a patient hearing.. Thoughts about future seem blurred.. The present is dull and the past is dark.. The world looks with an unwanted smile.. Its vicious eyes are piercing through my soul. I look sane outside but inside everything is going insane. I don't want to be a subject of conversations rather I desire self perception, a vision to help me clear my doubts.. My To Do list is overflowing.. I have so much that I Have to do and so much that I Plan to do. My mission is missing, I'm becoming lethargic to the thought of putting hard work. My efforts are missing and I know I'll succumb to these undue pressures that have be

Distances are measured.. Distances are created.. Distances are traveled upon.. And Distances are sorted.. When one is travelling we always take out a map to see how far we've come and how much farther do we have to go. The calculation is manned. The measured and calculated distance is the one we already are aware of. We are on a road already traveled. A relation is a road that has it's milestones which we are creating to know that we have traveled this path. But the path that we are moving on is the one that we are creating. We are amateur's in the field. Our relationship has its own manned regions, the regions that have affected us. The grey areas of our relationship is unmanned, untamed and unaffected. When we are meeting the one's we love everyday or frequently, these grey areas fade away. We know how the other will react, how they behave etc. The frequent meetings shorten the distance. We know the effects and affects of the distance. Yet some dista

Why did you have to go? Why was I selected to be the one in pain? Were you meant to go? Why did it have to end? These questions were and have haunted us somewhere in our lives. The answers to some were left unsaid and unquoted.. The reasons are translucent and invisible.. The story of a couple who started off at a high, with the aim to sustain till the time permits. The finish line was always in sight.. Yet the likes were always alike, the needs were similar and space meant the world around. The knowledge of the ending was so firm that the story didn't breath it's true end rather an end which was unknown..  The hurried life took a toll on the lives of the two. The meaning of love was lost. The true ending was never seen, what left was broken apart.. A friendship started with simple 'HI' building up to fair replies. The connection felt was active and sound. The relationship was on a stable ground. Yet there came the troubled waters which took away what was so

एक वक़्त था जब तुमपे गुस्सा ही सब कुछ था, एक वक़्त था जब उस गुस्से से आगे कुछ नहीं था| पर एक वक़्त ऐसा आया जब उस तकलीफ से आगे दिखाई दिया अपना असली दर्पण  वह दर्पण जो रह गया था कुछ पीछे पर अभी भी था अपना सा| जब हुए उससे वाकिफ तब पता चला की माफ़ी से ही चलेगी ज़िन्दगी आगे, आज आया ज़ेहन में की माफ़ करदे तुमको और बढ़ चलें अपनी राह में आगे| The span of the last two-three years, I now don't even remember when it was the last, had been a deadlock. The mind resisted any change! The only thing that mattered was anger, self directed or towards you I can't put a finger on it.  Struggling through the routine, the chores I had to perform, halfheartedly and with constant fight inside... The mask was so tough that no one knew what had been going behind it. I had stopped discussing things that I knew will come to the same conclusion. The thoughts being 'what were you thinking?' 'what will you be thinking?' 'was it affecting you?' 'had you been having any

There are butterflies in my stomach,        Goosebumps, Heart rate has accelerated..  Seeing you for the first time or as a matter of fact every-time we met brought these feelings inside. The first time was a special one, I still remember the conversation we had, the place we sat and what we were wearing! First time is the most sensational experience one has or one experiences. Be it meeting someone for the first time or going for a job interview or talking to someone over phone or chat. We all try to get a glimpse into the other's psyche, what is that make this person says this? or what is that makes this person him/ her? My first meetings or exchanges have always led to take things extremely slow. I rather felt the tinge of khichdi of feelings every- damn-time. When I used to read fairy-tales or any romantic novels such first time meetings have been so elaborately expressed that I used to think that this happens in real life too. But when I stepped into the real life

The sky above me is blue.. The sun is shining bright.. The grass is lush green.. The flowers are blooming.. Everything seems so fresh.. So naive.. Yet the mind is blank.. चलती रहती है ज़िन्दगी बस रुकते हैं तोह पल और थम जाता वक़्त| For a person whose entire life has been within the protective realm of another person, if left stranded alone without that crucial support will find his entire life crumbling down. जब ज़िन्दगी के रस्ते लगने लगे लम्बे और साथ ना हो कोई सहारा तब लगता है सब दुश्वार और रह जाता है तोह बस अंधियार Dependency kills the independent self.. The confidence of being alone is forgotten.. One becomes a lame follower without thinking about the details of his own decision.. You're consumed by the dark blank space within you.. There are days when I don't feel that there is any energy within me. The intrinsic motivation is exhausted. I'm consumed by myself, feeling stress. I feel the forces pinning against me. जब दिल कहता है काम ज़रूरी है और दिमाग कहत

While reading the newspaper today I came across this article via Paulo Cohelo which said, " No one who really loves you would expect you to make any kind of promises . If you want to understand love , learn to exercise freedom " We come across people, couples (married - unmarried) and individuals who are in a relationship and making promises everyday. Some of us even break those promises the very day and some of us live the promises we made.. Have we for once thought about the space and freedom we give to one another??? Have we for once thought about the reason for which are promising actually??! Its a food for your thought.. But I think most of us do not give any heed to such reason's.. It also mentioned that we promise because we are afraid to lose the person.. We somewhere are hiding the guilt of saying things that might cause the problem. Guilt of saying the Truth. When we love someone, we rather should tame the fea

The doomed Saturday! The day 25th April, 2015 will be written in history because of the earth shattering tremors beneath The Himalayas that shook us all.. Nepal is crumbling and we hear the news of survivors and death toll everyday. The news updates, twitter updates, facebook updates and whatsapp updates are full of images, videos and description of the event.. The extent to which the updates poured in was shocking. There were people who started circulating jokes and memes on the same. My only question to such people is 'Have you lost the contact with humanity?' Have we become so insane and inhumane to devastation and pain, that we have started making fun of other's trouble? The newspapers are filled with the helping hand India is providing but I can genuinely relate to a few. There are and were people who genuinely prayed and have been putting their efforts to help the victims. Nepal is a place where people have shown unity, harmony and courage to fight this disas

The four walls of my room are the one's that protect me from the outside world.. They do not let anyone breach the cover and pass through the safety net.. Yet there are particles which pass and affect my peace.. The confines of my room are the places I know even with my eyes closed.. There are things that are dear.. There are things that I require daily.. And there are corners that for the times we fear.. The physical walls are just a cover because there are walls in my mind that even deeper. The depth only few can breach and clear. The treading waters cleared by few. People who were with me in solitude, when I shed a tear or two, when I was excited and in great joy. The face I see in the mirror has changed with time. The person I once was has evolved with age. The age is a number that is increasing everyday. I'm recalling the time's when I wanted to confine myself as I didn't wish to move a step ahead. The person I used to be is the one I can never be. I have bu

Story of my life Searching for the right But it keeps avoiding me Sorrow in my soul 'Cause it seems that wrong Really loves my company    -  Rihanna - Unfaithful Lyrics These are the lyrics that come to my mind when I think about My Very Own Incomplete Story.. There are many stories that were left incomplete some I have purposely left incomplete, some were left incomplete by default and a few which I'm yet to complete...  Stories that haunt my past are filled with the feelings that I have shut out. The people who have purposely or rather by default have left a lovely dent on my psyche. The one's with whom I have spent moments which were precious yet had words that were left unsaid, promises that were broken, trust that couldn't be maintained and loyalties that were thrown in the dustbin.  There were conversations that had meaning, conversations which stumped me and conversations that closed a chapter in my life. But there were conversations whi

GOOGLY WOOGLY WOOSH.... Oh Crap!  Will be the first two words that will come out of my mouth when "Google" will vanish.. It's like my go to person when every thought fails and when every idea hits a road block...  ideas for new clothes... ideas for new jewellery.. ideas for resumes... ideas for c.v's... ideas for shoes... info about new trends.. new cars... fashion updates.. career updates.. And lots more.. The list is endless........                                New sites require google assistance for popularity... Each and every popularity hungry portal wants itself to be listed on this..  Google baba as one would call it has answers for every human being on this planet be it a kid who has a school project or a wife who has her daily routine work or a teenager who wants latest fashion updates or an adult who wants to watch you know what! Google is like a lifeline for every person including.. It's become a vitamin dos

"With Darkness comes Light" The phrase has a deep meaning..  Darkness is something that has it's own beauty and horrors.. The moon at night is a beautiful sight even when it's ugly.. A moonless night is also amazing when you just stand in your balcony and see the dark sky you just wander into your subconscious thoughts that have been sidelined in reality.. The dark room at night is when you just lie on your bed with your eyes open waiting for your brain to creep in sleep..  The darkness is within us all the time when you are a lone ranger fighting with your own demons..  The darkness has its own share of light that filters the emotions you tried to evade... The emotions that you once had left behind or had forgotten to take them with you...                                         The dark night brings in me the sense to be with myself.. Share some precious moments with myself that will provide me with the solutions of my troubled brain.. The nigh